Spambot


Spambot
MIKE, PENNY and SPAMBOT are sitting at a table in a cafe

MIKE

Really, um, Penny. You’re not suggesting that we should just do away with Christmas all together?

PENNY

But it is so commercialised. Just look at this place, heaving with shoppers desperate to spend their money.

MIKE

And we have had to share a table. So it’s not all bad.

SPAMBOT

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PENNY

Smooth talker, arn’t you? I’m just saying Why can’t we get back to the true meaning of Christmas?

MIKE

Which is?

PENNY

Just getting together with your family. Spending time together.

MIKE

Phew. For a moment there I thought you were going to mention Jesus or something.

PENNY

Well, the religious aspect is important to some people, but not others. I think people are entitled to celebrate Christmas whatever they believe. I take it that you are not into all that then Mike.

MIKE

Not really. I usually spend Christmas with my parents and I go to Midnight Mass with them on Christmas Eve but even for them I think it’s more habit than anything else.

PENNY

Well, there you. You spend Christmas with your family, that is my point.

MIKE

I suppose.

PENNY

It’s just not all about spending money and buying presents.

SPAMBOT

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MIKE

So what are all those bags then?

PENNY

Well, buying presents is part of it but not the be all and end all.

MIKE
So, you will be spending Christmas with your family?

PENNY

I’m going round for my dinner, yes. Someone has to keep an eye on Dad. Watch he doesn’t have too many mince pies.

SPAMBOT

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MIKE
And after dinner?

PENNY

Full bellies and the Queen’s speech if past years are anything to go buy.

SPAMBOT

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MIKE

It will be the same at my house I suppose. Dad complaining that there is nothing on telly and Mum saying ‘come and help me with the washing up then.’ It’s the same every year.

PENNY

Why don’t you help with the washing up?

MIKE

Don’t you start!

PENNY

It’s nice you still go round though. that is the point that I’m making.

MIKE

Well I guess my family is important to me.

SPAMBOT

Stay harder, longer.

MIKE

Eh?

SPAMBOT

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MIKE

I said important, not impotent!

PENNY

Oh well, I suppose I’d better be getting along. Nice meeting you Mike.

MIKE

Here, (handing over a scrap of paper) my mobile number, in case you, um, fancy meeting up again

PENNY

Oh! Thanks. Yes, I’ll give you a call some time. Well, bye Mike, bye, er. I’m sorry I didn’t catch your friend’s name.

MIKE

I thought he was with you.

SPAMBOT

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